Friday, August 27, 2010

ELEVATORS

Now they're an experience. Elevators have one thing they do well and that's elevate, and of course they're good for let-downs too. Up and down, that's what they do and where they go ... but they're free! (If your mood's a little low or you're depressed, jump into the nearest elevator ... and be elevated for free.)

When the elevator doors close on that little room it creates it's own very small environment. A unique and mysterious dynamic. We enter a collection of total strangers crowded together, packed in, with nothing in common but going up ... or coming down.

The room is ever so small and ever so quiet.

What does one do on this short trip. First, the button! A panel of do-it-yourself buttons are there and then of course you push your button for your floor, that is if no one has already pushed it. The ride, like the environment, is totally unnatural. Each person vaguely looking at something, but, of course, no eye contact.

One just doesn't do that!

While I'm on my trip I look at things like the emergency button, or if there are a good number of fat people with me, I look at the plaque that tells me the maximum load in pounds. (On occasion this can be unnerving!) Often I'll count down the floors by their lights; that's another thing one can do on the short trip. Every now and then there's a bit of brief excitement when the doors close on someone that's a tad bit late, that's a highlight.

I actually saw an elevator commercial on TV the other night that just blew my mind.

Camera! Action! The doors close on this elevator full of people and inside is this cheerful young lady that is excitedly telling her fellow travelers that her bloating has stopped and she is no longer constipated.

Now there is a conversation starter.

Next we'll see a muscle bound young man bounce into the elevator and when the doors close he'll cheerfully tell everyone how Viagra has changed his sex life, and how for four hours he ... well, I'll not go there.

Boy, these commercials are convincing! Makes me want to rush out to the nearest Drug Store and buy ... well,

A laxative!!!